HOMERUN…

So today marks the end of this journey of self discovery and I can honestly say, it has been tougher than every imagined. I though wearing no makeup for 10 days could take me out of my comfort zone and sure it did, but it did much more than that, it consumed me, spat me out and trampled on me, leaving a girl who was extremely self conscious and lacked self confidence in who she was as a person.

on the positive side, it has shown me that society does accept me with or without makeup as majority of the comments were ” you look the same” or ” you don’t look bad at all Cam!” this made me feel good about myself but still not confident enough to go without makeup completely and permanently.

For me personally, I will return to my own ways as that is my comfort zone, but I will definitely not be so completely obsessed with wearing makeup all the time, I can ease on that and can possibly try going to the beach without makeup more often.

This was a successful intervention!

REMEMBER, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

xxx

Monday Madness

Like every Monday, it is just chaotic!  I had serious withdrawal symptoms today, in terms of not wearing makeup and in terms of taking regular selfies! I have only taken minimal photos of myself during this intervention because to be honest, I just really don’t like seeing myself without makeup. its a tough adjustment.

Working for a top makeup brand, I have always taken photos of various makeup looks that I have applied to myself and then I would add it to the portfolio. I portfolio has been empty for 8 days now. Knowing how active my portfolio usually is, it is difficult for me to be doing this, it really is something that makes me very uncomfortable and I honestly didn’t think it would effect me this much.

I scroll back to all the selfies I have taken of myself without makeup, and just stare at the photo, criticizing every small detail. this is what society has doe to me, society has molded me into always trying to portray a perfect manicured face, a presentable face, a face that should be a money maker, I should I grateful that I even have a face, that I have all the necessary parts to make a face, but instead I lie in my bed, looking at these selfies, and criticize the marks on my cheeks, or how fat my face looks without makeup.

click on the link below: this is unbelievable! definitely worth the watch!

Video of a South Korean woman removing her make up gets over two million hits thanks to her VERY eye-opening transformation

REALIZATION 101

It is the day before the intervention ends and I have come to realize something…I am nothing without my makeup, and that is sad. I am not confident, nor happy or joyful, I care way to much what people think and I let thoughts like that consume me. looking at my no make up photos, I am still the same person, so why do I let such an immaterial object, comsume me in the way that it does.

this afternoon I listened to a song on the radio called “try” by Colbie Cailet and I decided to come home and watch the music video. tears rushed down my cheeks as this video and song lyrics spoke straight to my heart and soul. basically the music video was about beautiful ladies, taking off their smiles and their masks of makeup so that they don’t have to “try” so hard to be accepted. I could not stop the tears.

it is beautiful!

link:

here are the lyrics:

“Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim
So they like you. Do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don’t be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong
So they like you. Do you like you?

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try, try, try, try-i-i
You don’t have to try, try, try, try-i-i
You don’t have to try, try, try, try-i-i
You don’t have to try
Yoooou don’t have to try

 Get your shopping on,
At the mall,
Max your credit cards
You don’t have to choose,
Buy it all
So they like you. Do they like you?

Wait a second,
Why should you care, what they think of you
When you’re all alone, by yourself
Do you like you? Do you like you?

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

Take your make up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don’t you like you?
Cause I like you “

Sunday…

After yesterday’s little ordeal at the beach, I am realized, that I actually care a lot about what people think of me, and that I actually do care about their opinions on or about me. Wearing no makeup, is a serious insecurity for me.

its Sunday and I don’t plan on going out, I have done more readings and have come across some information and quotes that could be nothing but true about makeup.

an interesting study was done where photographs of woman with and without makeup were to be judged by random individuals and how easily they would pass judgment of negativity about woman without makeup than woman with makeup.

Findings revealed that makeup have a significant and automatic effect on judgments of attractiveness. Even more importantly, makeup provides additional facial stimuli that influence more long-term, deliberative judgments on social factors such as trustworthiness.

Co-researcher for the study and principal scientist at Procter & Gamble Beauty and Grooming, summarized these findings:

“This means that makeup really can be seen as a tool in a woman’s arsenal that allows her to actually control the way the world sees her,” she said in the interview, but continues by stating that:

“People don’t want to judge a book by its cover, and yet they still do,” she said. “But what matters is how we perceive ourselves. Women can still be confident and competent without makeup.”

After reading this whole article, I stand by what I state, and that is that makeup is in fact a huge confidence booster and that is what it does for me, I feel more attractive and studies have proven that they do contribute to attractiveness when applies correctly, reading all this makes it even more difficult for me to accept the fact that I should be comfortable without makeup, I am finding it very difficult to go without anything on my face, I feel so judged and not in a good way!

It’s such a lovely day, but…

I woke up this morning and it is such a beautiful day, the sun is shinning and the weather is absolutely perfect, perfect for the beach!

I rounded my troop of friends and we headed off to the beach, now knowing myself in the past, I always put makeup on, even going to the beach! but today I found it acceptable and quite “normal” to not wear makeup to the beach as I have come across, apparently many people don’t? I don’t exactly understand that concept, but me not wearing makeup tot he beach was a great achievement! as I was out in public, bearing my naked face, on a hot sunny day!

but then…

One of my house mates, never informed me of the little gathering we were going to have on the beach, and by little gathering, I mean me meeting some of his male friends from Pretoria, who just by the way, were hot as hell! I suddenly felt flustered. at that very moment, after greeted the guys, my confidence and self- esteem hit lower than rock bottom, I found myself not really socializing as I dint exactly want to make eye contact and did not want them to see me without makeup. this bright and beautiful day turned into a storm for me, I just wanted to take cover! I grabbed my shades, put them on with a cap, and proceeded to mind my own business, only replying when necessary, they probably all though I am this typical stuck up girl when I am anything but that, I just did not want them to know my secret! how could makeup change the person I am! and change my personality and the way people perceive me!

FRIDAAAAAAY!!!!

So after a killer of a week, it is finally Friday and I could not be happier! I have completed the first week of the intervention with some trials and tribulations but all is going well so far! I truly hope today will be a good Friday as I woke up in a great mood, listened to music and got ready for college without even caring what I looked like, or that I didn’t even have makeup on!

I have read something very interesting this morning about how makeup has changed woman and how makeup has evolved over the years, its very interesting to see how makeup has evolved. here’s the link to go check it out.

this is how dramically makeup has changed over the years. click on it.

see you tomorrow lovelies! xx

Thursday MAYHEM.

The morning broke and I woke up bright and early, at 02:00 to be exact. I had to study for a finance test that I was writing in a few hours time. I studied until about 06:00 and then proceeded to get ready which entailed showering, washing hair, drying hair and choosing an outfit, which all and all would typically take about 2 hours. I grabbed all that I needed for my test and headed out the door, with no makeup at all.

I was too stressed about my test to even be bothered about myself, that was walking around with no makeup on. it still troubled me a lot, as I still felt very conscious about how I looked. After my test, the stress was relieved and at that very moment,  I felt as if I were a tiny spec in Vega. I felt as if everyone was staring at me and then again, I just wanted to hide away, my confidence was no where to be found. I came home and decided to do some research as to why makeup has such a prominent affect on people and their lives. the discovery that I made was shocking. I could not believe how makeup could either make or break you and how makeup can have an effect on your everyday live, decisions and opportunities.

why some woman can’t go without makeup– a good read.

tomorrow is Friday, lets hope it goes better than today.

TO BEAR IT ALL…MY FACE.

“Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world.”  – Marilyn Monroe.

As a young little girl, I always used to sit on my moms bed in the mornings and watch how she did her makeup and perfected her hair, making sure that her lip liner was drawn on precisely to the shape of her lips, and that every eyelash knew its pasted place. Once my mom had finished perfecting her image, and turned back to remind me to start getting ready for school, the face that stared at me, took my breath away, every single time. I wanted to look as beautiful as my mom did. Growing up I took part in modeling and beauty pageants and photo-shoots and covers for magazine’s and newspapers and the list goes on, I was introduced to wearing makeup at this stage , at a young age and it has just never left my side, or my face.

being 1 out of 5 Elizabeth Arden ambassadors, makeup is my forte, it is what I apply to myself and others, helping improve and enhance their appearance. For my intervention, I will be going 10 full days without a single inch of makeup on my face. no lip liner or lipstick, no eyeliner or mascara, no foundation or blemish stick and no bronzer or powder. I will be bearing my naked face for all to see, many might think it is a small and not so challenging task, but let me just inform you, in my 7 years of wearing makeup everyday, going 10 days is going to be quite the challenge for me personally.

To fill you in from Monday to now…

so Monday morning arrived and if there was ever a Monday that I hated, it was Monday the 18th. I carried on with my daily routine of showering, after which I would usually apply my makeup and then get dressed, but something was very different, I applied my moisturizer, followed by the colorless lip balm and sadly exited the bathroom. I looked dead and lifeless, but nevertheless, made my way to college. I had never been so afraid of what people are going to think at college or anywhere, ever! I arrived and everyone looked at me normally, without any head tilting, I started to question myself, did I do this properly? why are people not noticing? I received multiple comments from people that told me I look the same and that they cannot really see a difference, at this point, I wanted to slap a few , 30% because of the fact that they were not noticing such a dramatic change, and 70% because of the fact that their comments indirectly implied that I was doing a pretty poor job at my makeup for them NOT to notice my change.

Tuesday the 19/05…

Yesterday took a bit of a turn, my property was on show, and there were real estate agents absolutely everywhere in the house and in my personal space, I continued to keep my composure without any makeup and tried to smile as they walked past me, but I just did not feel beautiful at all. I had no confidence in myself and I just wanted to stick my head in the sand, as an ostrich would. I heard young voices outside my window and peeped through the curtains, there were a group of young male real estate agents, waiting to enter the house, I just could not do it, I could not let them see me like this! I paced to my bathroom and applied my makeup after which I greeted them with a oh so friendly welcoming. only after everyone had left, I had a moment to myself, I could not believe how a simple thing such as makeup, affected this girl who oozed confidence, who has certificates for best public speaker and who could take on the world, wouldn’t even let a bunch of strangers see her with nothing but her natural smile. I had never felt so intimidated in my life, I was always the intimidator, always the confident one who would always put herself first, what was happening to this girl with the bear face? I felt defeated.

Woman crush Wednesday? maybe not today…

After spending the day at college and basically looking down majority of the time, I got through the day with the usual comments of “you look the same” or “I cant really see a difference”, I decided to go to the mall to purchase a well deserved chocolate frappe, this would be my first time out in public either than college. I cannot even express to you how anxious I was, the anxiety actually made me nauseas, but then again, no one noticed! I was not used to not having people look at me! I felt so average and so unattractive. I came home for some selfie therapy and proceeded to take over 100 photos, just to find the selected few that would make the cut for social media. I took a step back and looked at these photos and realized that, this is me, this is actually me, with nothing to cover my emotions. it was definitely a reality check to myself of how caught up I have become in this perfected image that I have been portraying for years.

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